After 27 years of marriage, Reid is now a single guy, but he’s not a dater. (He doesn’t even know what dating is!) This hopeless romantic will spend his sessions learning how to date in the 21st century–including exploring and avoiding the pitfalls of online and offline dating.
Reid is the perfect client.
We love that he knows what he wants, and that he’s willing to learn and to open his mind to what this new chapter of his life has to offer.
After a divorce, there are many things to consider…and here are just a “few.”:
One: Why didn’t my marriage last? This is a question that will have varying answers depending on when you ask it. The most honest answer will probably be the one that puts both of your challenges and shortcomings into the spotlight. If you’re still playing the “blame game,” then you’re not being honest…and that is the first step to healing.
Two: What did I learn? Better question. I once had a client that learned the value of communication AFTER his divorce. While some might say that it’s too late, I say that he will take that lesson into his next relationship, and be better for it.
Three: Do I want to be married again? This is another great question, and one that you not take lightly. The answer will determine what your post-divorce relationships look like and will set the expectations for your future significant other.
[dropcap style=”1″ size=”3″]+[/dropcap] So, now it’s your turn. If you’re like Reid…let’s talk about it.
I was on LA Talk Live (www.latalklive.com) last night with Dr. Richard Karr and a few other special guests and he asked me a question. He asked me if I thought I could change bad relationtionships. I responded by telling him I would rather be more of a prophylactic.
Before you make that face, let me explain. Prophylactic is a term that is usually used in relationship to condoms and birth control products–the prophylactic is meant to prevent situations (STDs, pregnancy, etc) from happening. Medically, it means to administer medications for symptoms that may arise, but haven’t yet.
Let’s go with that.
I would rather stop you from having a bad relationship, than get you out of a bad relationship. Now the short answer is that I can coach you in both. But I am more excited about giving you the tools to avoid such a situation, than coaching you, kicking and screaming and crying, out of a situation that isn’t working for you. For those you who don’t know this, coaching is isn’t cheap, and it is a process. So, if you find yourself in need of help, but perhaps a little fiscally challenged, then this is for you.
So…once again, I have to mention my new book, “The Book of Bye!” And again, I have to tell you that I wrote this book so that you can have yet another tool to help you decide if he or she is the person you should be involved with.
That’s how I prevent you from getting in a bad relationship. That is why I am a prophylactic. I am protecting you from (well, I am attempting to protect you) from bad relationships.
See how easy that is? And, just for the record, this isn’t any ordinary dating advice book. I have taken 12 scenarios from my personal dating and relationship coaching experiences to give you real-world rationale to apply to your present, and perhaps even future, dating adventures. If you follow the instructions in this book, your days of whining about the loser you are dating are OVER!
In fact, your relationship resolution for 2012 should be to STOP whining and START winning…and winning starts with adding this book to your arsenal. Period.
But, some of you will read this and go get the book, and others of you will think that $9.97 is too expensive and you want something free. If you want something free, then sign-up for a sneak peak of the book on the homepage.
Now for those of you who are ready to be empowered and actually do something different, I will see you on December 18th–book in hand–at my Bye Club Book Club event.
The choice is yours…choose wisely.
P.S. The title of this article is Bye! You! (get it?)
Admit that you aren’t strong enough to leave. Admit that you’re willing to put up with interesting situations, and incessant discussions of the same thing without resolution.
You’re not alone.
It’s hard to end a relationship, even if it’s not working. You’ve put in all this work and you expected some sort of a payoff. A committment, a spouse, maybe just a drawer in the bedroom for your things…something. So now, you feel a little bit like you should stay and see this thing through, right? Make sure that it’s run it’s course–you owe it that (or rather you think that you do). But again, you are not alone.
I cannot say it enough. We are not supposed to have bad relationships. We are supposed to be able to avoid people who are not in the same place we are (I call the places, “Carnal, Communal or Committal”) and we are supposed to have the strength to let go of the people who show themselves unworthy of us. Now when I say unworthy, it makes sound as if it has to be a big deal. But the truth is, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. In fact, if we would pay more attention to the little things in our relationships, we might be able to avoid the big heartbreaking thing that ultimately ends this relationship, and shatters your faith in love, the opposite sex, and the ability to ever give that much to anyone else ever again.
Did someone say, “things?”
How do you assess the little things? Well, you can go through the painstaking process of talking to your friends, family and even the Twitterverse, or you can just get my book.
There’s a book about this?
Yes, and I wrote it. I wrote it to help you stop wasting your time with people that are going to break your heart and ruin your life (if only for a moment). And, guess what, I didn’t just include ONE little thing…there are TWELVE little things in this book, plus a chapter on how to end it–if that is what you decide you need to do.
You will be strong enough in no time! I promise!
Guess what I called it?
The Book of Bye! (Seriously…that’s what it is, so why not just call it that).
Look, I know the reason why you can’t say bye, and you know the reason (or reasons) why you can’t say bye. And no matter what the exact reason is, this is one moment that you can take to figure out what you need to do.
…and I will be right beside you.
For more information on “The Book of Bye!” click here.