It’s not uncommon for people to think that once they have a significant other that there is no more work to be done. That’s so far from the truth. Now that “you” are a “we” you have to learn what that means. You have to learn what your “signif” needs, and that’s a process in itself.
Remember the fundamentals: Attraction begets Interest begets Like begets Intense Like. If you don’t, they’re are clearly defined in the book, “The Business of Dating.”
In a nutshell, we move through these four phases by way of intimacy. Spatial intimacy, emotional intimacy, and spiritual intimacy, to be exact. (Note that physical intimacy was not included.) How do we create intimacy? By sharing time and space; by verbal and non-verbal communication; by being reactive and proactive…you get the idea.
And all of these things–while making perfect sense to us–can create closeness, openness, and the need to run away from you very fast in our significant other. This is why we have to work on our relationships, and almost craft a language that only the two of you understand.
Now, it may seem lame for the two of you to come to a relationship coach; however, at the moment when you both decide that you like each other, and would like to see where this relationship can take you both, it might be a fun thing to do to just have a chat with your new wingwoman. (That could be me, by the way.)
After all, it’s better to learn how we make it better now, than to figure out it doesn’t get any worse later.
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