How About a Smart@#$ Valentine? (aka “How Sexy is Intelligence?”)

When asked about the traits that most singles look for in a companion, most respond with the following words:






 And finally, “attractive.”

Sometimes you may even hear the word intelligent. Sometimes.  For many, it may be that this goes without saying.  Of course, there are others who boldly proclaim to date “dumb girls” and “dumb guys” at every opportunity.  But, ultimately, it seems safe to assume that at least a modicum of intelligence will help you in the dating game.

But that’s just my opinion.

So despite topping (or not topping) the list of great attributes for your next potential significant other, I wanted to find out just how sexy intelligence is.  So, in a quest to get beyond my own opinion, I took to social media powerhouse Twitter, where I posed the question to @whatthelove’s more than 2,000 followers.

The question? 

“Is intelligence sexy?” An to which I received the following responses from my fellow tweeters:

@PhoenixBoston stated, “Yes!”

@Mr_Souljah tweeted, “Definitely!!!”

@PrincessKriss said,”Yessssss! You have to get to my mind before you even can peek over the wall in front of my heart!

And lastly, @Social_Sex replied, “Sexiest thing there is!”

Okay, that’s a few more opinions.

From Twitter, I posed the question to my colleague on the relationship front, Keli V. Crane, editor of the relationship-focused website, “” (pronounced, “boys suck”) who responded with a resounding, “of course.”  Crane went on to state that,” next to confidence, intelligence is the most sexy thing a man can wear.  To me, sexy is a state of mind… a man MUST be able to stimulate me mentally. There’s nothing worse than the “pretty” dude that you never want to open his mouth…Looks are fleeting, but intelligence is forever.”

Well, she must be onto something, because I found there’s an entire dating site dedicated to intelligent, sexy singles. 


It’s called (Ivy is for “Ivy League,” get it?).  You don’t have to have attended an Ivy League institution, but this site celebrates those intelligent, witty individuals who are looking for someone to connect with.

According to their website, “IvyDate is the premier online introduction network for people who value creativity, intellectual curiosity, and drive. We send you up to five exceptional matches every week, all of whom have been pre-screened by a special membership committee to ensure first-rate qualities.”

I stand corrected—they are not a dating site, but an online introduction network.  So, I thought, “why not ask them?”  Surely, a site like this would have someone I could ask my silly little question.Voila! And so there was.

 I spoke with one of the CEOs from and asked my question, to which I received the following reply:

 “Of course intelligence is sexy! Just think of Natalie Portman, Cleopatra, and Lord Byron. Or,” he joked, “just take a look at our team!”

 Now that’s just funny.

And…these nice, err, intelligent people went on to allow me to offer you, my precious readers, an opportunity to see just how intelligently sexy they are over at So when you finish reading this, run on over there and signup with the promo code WHAT_THE_LOVE, and enjoy some groovy benefits, such as:

  • Ability to register & subscribe for free

  • First priority in membership queue

  • Ability to respond to messages & send smiles for free

  • A discounted membership rate; those who upgrade to a premium membership will receive 25% off on their subscription

Perhaps there’s time for you to have a Happy Valentine’s Day after all…with your smart self!







But I Don’t Wanna Date Online…*Pouts*

Note to Readers: Try something new. Signup now for a VIP Sneak Peek of a new relationship site…click here.

The truth is, many singles prefer the old fashioned way, they prefer to date people that they can actually see and can talk to in real life.  However, the truth is, that contingent upon the site, you can find some very nice people that you will not find in your local bars and restaurants.  Some are busy professionals that travel or just busy professionals.  So, in the midst of the hustle and bustle, they’ve decided to use the internet to help them find the “love” or at least the intense like that they seek.

So, why not?

Objection Number One…”I think it’s embarassing.” Well, it is for some, and especially if they are half naked on a profile, but for most, they are not embarassed, they are cautiously optimistic, and if nothing else, they know that they have stepped out of their comfort zone.  However, you can always hide your profile.  Many services allow you to hide your information/profile and still navigate the site.  This way, you can still feel as if you have an element of control and that you are not all out in the etherfor everyone to see.  Now, one problem solved.

Objection Number Two…”How will I explain to my friends how we met?” Okay, okay, if even the thought of saying, “we met online” makes you cringe, then consider the following…around your third date, makeup a great story about how the two of you met…it will be tons of fun.  Now, there needs to at least one person that knows the deal, especially if he turns out to be a dud (but that could happen offline, too), but if you don’t want to tell your friends and family, then don’t.  My response, “I was playing around on the internet and ran into him,” it’s vague enough that people leave me alone, and for those that truly know the nerd that I am…they just say ok.  After all, there’s linkedin, there’s twitter, there’s so many virtual “playgrounds” that I could’ve been in…so have a ball, and don’t let other’s opinions stop you.

Note to Readers: Try something new. Signup now for a VIP Sneak Peek of a new relationship site…click here.

Objection Number Three…”I hear that there are alot of losers online.”  I hear that there are alot of losers EVERYWHERE.  Look, odds are that if you can’t avoid the losers in the bar, then you can’t avoid them online; however, the great thing about them being online is that they have to advertise first.  Now, his profile could be a complete lie; however…you could meet a guy/girl tomorrow and they tell you a complete lie as well…hey, it happens.  But if you see photos you don’t agree with, poor grammar (and that’s one of my deal breakers), guess what…you don’t have to say a word, and they will none the wiser of your judgment.

Listen, there are pros and cons to dating online–just as there are for dating, period.  If any other above are your objections, I hope I’ve given you just enough ammunition to push pass all of that rhetoric and to at least try an online site…If you don’t like it, delete your profile and write me a stern letter about the experience.  But, perhaps you just might find someone and you can write me a letter about that, too.

Here’s to you…ONLINE!

Note to Readers: Try something new. Signup now for a VIP Sneak Peek of a new relationship site…click here.