The Business of Dating: The USP

Most of you don’t know that before I am a relationship and love enthusiast, I am a business and marketing junkie. That being said, it’s not far fetched to begin to look at dating as a business. Two people (or entities) come together (or merge) to create something successful…enough said.

So, I have had many conversation with women about what they bring to the table, as they are very clear about what what they want from a man, I find this to be a great distraction when I turn the tables on them. While most women can describe numerous traits (and unique ones) that they are looking for in a man, they tend to generalize who they are and what they bring to the table.

Enter the USP.

The USP is the Unique Selling Proposition. It is the reason why Tide doesn look like Gain, or why Eternity doesn’t smell like Issey Miyake…you get the idea.

Every woman (and man) has a USP. But for the most part, women don’t explore this fully. When asked what they bring to the table, most list teh following generic qualities:

  • I’m nice
  • I’m a good person
  • I try to help
  • I support the people in my life
  • I’m a Christian…and on and on.

Here’s what you need to know. There nothing on that list (which I shortened) that is unique. There are good girls all around. There are Christian women all around (seriously). The truth is that while most women want some unique traits in a man, they have yet to explore the unique things that they bring to the table. They have yet to say the things that you can ONLY get by being with me (you).

That’s your USP, and once you find it…you will see things is a totally different way. Instead of feeling as if he just didn’t want a nice person or that he needs a nice person (for you chronic “fixers”), you will really say.  He wasn’t worthy of my phenomenal kissing powers, or he might be a great compliment to my ability to create things beyond the wildest imagination.  A USP is specific and it will give you the GREATEST sense of pride when you KNOW what you TRULY bring to the table and have to offer.

I’m all for a little ego trip, especially if it helps you be better for life and love. 😉

If you’re ready to find your USP…you know who to call…err, contact.

More Than 140: Answering @FLUXXX1

This is the third, and last installment of the More Than 140 Series.  New “twestie,” @fluxxx1 asks our final question:

“Does Open & Honest communication Make or Break a Relationship?

The Answer: Both contingent upon what we’re being open and honest about.  If we’re open and honest about our feelings and our words leave the other feeling edified and excited about what was said, then we are making our relationship.  If we are open and honest about things that leave each other feeling vulnerable and in despair, then we are breaking our relationship. 

Of course, all communication in a relationship isn’t about the good in it, so it stands that there is always a fair amount of making and breaking; however, its the messages that are consistently communicated that determine the overall view of the relationship.  Simply put, does the good we say outweigh the bad?  When you reflect on your conversations, it is forever an argument or do you feel as if you discuss and resolve your issues and move forward?  Are you making progress, or do you regress?  How you answer these questions depend largely on how you feel after a little “come to Jesus” between you and your partner or spouse.

Our goal should always be to communicate in a way that leaves the other person better than they were before we had this interaction–even if we have to talk about things that aren’t all that wonderful.  Try to speak in feeling statements instead of blaming statements.  “I feel” leaved the receiver the opportunity to reply to your now vocalize issue, without feeling at fault.  Fault causes defensiveness, and more often than not, defensiveness leads to arguments…but it doesn’t stop there.  Arguments lead to hurt feelings, hurt feelings lead to vulnerability and vulnerability leads to faulty decision making, especially in the areas of fidelity (I think you get the point).

In conclusion, it’s not really what you communicate, but how you communicate that determine the outcome.  In the future, attempt to vocalize, but not blame, and present everything in love.  If you can master these things, your relationship will continue to evolve and hopefully satisfy you.  If not, well…you got options, enough said.

Thanks for your question. 😉