So, You Are Going to Breakup With Your Significant Other (GUEST BLOGGER)

So you have decided to break up with your significant other. There is a right way and a lot of wrong ways. Find out the things that you should do to minimize the hurt that is bound to happen for both of you. How to move on with a new partner. Breaking up is hard on egos. Learn how to correctly do this most difficult of relationship acts.

How About a Smart@#$ Valentine? (aka “How Sexy is Intelligence?”)

When asked about the traits that most singles look for in a companion, most respond with the following words:

 “Cute!”

 “Handsome.”

 “Fine.”

 “Sexy!”

 “Funny!”

 And finally, “attractive.”

Sometimes you may even hear the word intelligent. Sometimes.  For many, it may be that this goes without saying.  Of course, there are others who boldly proclaim to date “dumb girls” and “dumb guys” at every opportunity.  But, ultimately, it seems safe to assume that at least a modicum of intelligence will help you in the dating game.

But that’s just my opinion.

So despite topping (or not topping) the list of great attributes for your next potential significant other, I wanted to find out just how sexy intelligence is.  So, in a quest to get beyond my own opinion, I took to social media powerhouse Twitter, where I posed the question to @whatthelove’s more than 2,000 followers.

The question? 

“Is intelligence sexy?” An to which I received the following responses from my fellow tweeters:

@PhoenixBoston stated, “Yes!”

@Mr_Souljah tweeted, “Definitely!!!”

@PrincessKriss said,”Yessssss! You have to get to my mind before you even can peek over the wall in front of my heart!

And lastly, @Social_Sex replied, “Sexiest thing there is!”

Okay, that’s a few more opinions.

From Twitter, I posed the question to my colleague on the relationship front, Keli V. Crane, editor of the relationship-focused website, “Boissuq.com” (pronounced, “boys suck”) who responded with a resounding, “of course.”  Crane went on to state that,” next to confidence, intelligence is the most sexy thing a man can wear.  To me, sexy is a state of mind… a man MUST be able to stimulate me mentally. There’s nothing worse than the “pretty” dude that you never want to open his mouth…Looks are fleeting, but intelligence is forever.”

Well, she must be onto something, because I found there’s an entire dating site dedicated to intelligent, sexy singles. 

Seriously.

It’s called IvyDate.com (Ivy is for “Ivy League,” get it?).  You don’t have to have attended an Ivy League institution, but this site celebrates those intelligent, witty individuals who are looking for someone to connect with.

According to their website, “IvyDate is the premier online introduction network for people who value creativity, intellectual curiosity, and drive. We send you up to five exceptional matches every week, all of whom have been pre-screened by a special membership committee to ensure first-rate qualities.”

I stand corrected—they are not a dating site, but an online introduction network.  So, I thought, “why not ask them?”  Surely, a site like this would have someone I could ask my silly little question.Voila! And so there was.

 I spoke with one of the CEOs from IvyDate.com and asked my question, to which I received the following reply:

 “Of course intelligence is sexy! Just think of Natalie Portman, Cleopatra, and Lord Byron. Or,” he joked, “just take a look at our team!”

 Now that’s just funny.

And…these nice, err, intelligent people went on to allow me to offer you, my precious readers, an opportunity to see just how intelligently sexy they are over at IvyDate.com. So when you finish reading this, run on over there and signup with the promo code WHAT_THE_LOVE, and enjoy some groovy benefits, such as:

  • Ability to register & subscribe for free

  • First priority in membership queue

  • Ability to respond to messages & send smiles for free

  • A discounted membership rate; those who upgrade to a premium membership will receive 25% off on their subscription

Perhaps there’s time for you to have a Happy Valentine’s Day after all…with your smart self!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Five GREAT Reasons to Catch HIV

Let’s just jump right in…right after I say thank you to a good friend who helped me get this message out! “Thank YOU!”

Reason Number One: No one ever told you that you don’t have to have sex…period. 

In every discussion I have ever heard about HIV prevention, the word protection is always used.  But rarely do we give the options of abstinence and celibacy as additional tools to protect against HIV.  Sure, we have to acknowledge that both the young and old engage in premarital sex, and such is the case, we tell both demographics to use condoms.  But why not ALSO  tell them that another option is to skip all of that and keep their goodies to themselves? Believe it or not, everyone is NOT doing it–nor do they want to.

Reason Number Two: You still think that it can’t happen to you.
How long will we believe in that rhetoric? I’m sure there was a time when those girls in high school–you know the ones– thought that they couldn’t get pregnant.  But now, three kids and many years later, they know that they can.  So…why contract this disease to prove a point?  If you’re like millions who willingly or unwillingly engage in unprotected sex each year, then you’ve been lucky (blessed) to dodge this diseased bullet.  If you are still choosing to have sex then you have to be mindful of how serious the act of intercourse is- whether you’re single or married.

Reason Three: You don’t want to offend anyone by asking their status. 
What?! You’ve got to be kidding.  You pride yourself on knowing their favorite color, hobbies, and 5-year plan, but asking their HIV status is overstepping some irrelevant boundary? Again, this isn’t just for single people…married people need to ask the hard
questions, too.  Do you know how many people have NEVER had an HIV test? So, no matter how faithful they may have been, how many times they never cheated and whatever else they say about their past relationships, HIV and other STDs could  still be in the picture…afterall, do you know YOUR status?  Exactly.

Reason Four: You still believe that you’ll be able to tell if someone is sick or not.
Please stop the madness…HIV is not a cold. And even with a cold, how many times have you had one and no one could “tell?” You may have even had a virus or infection, but there were no signs.  HIV and other STDs are the same way.  At the end of the day, the only way to KNOW if someone has it is to see the test. So, before you pat yourself on the back for being brave enough to ask, ask yourself, did you see any proof?

And, just to add a little wisdom to that statement: Remember that HIV can incubate for up to 3 months, which means that if you see the results of their test today, you still need a to see another test 3 months from now.  But again, you could always, “save yourself…by saving yourself.”  That was cute…put poignant.

Reason Five: You’re using sex to get ________________________.
Life happens.  But for some, life happens under duress.  This may be shocking to some of you, but there are people who believe that they have to have sex to maintain a certain lifestyle.  This goes waaaaaay beyond giving sex to get love, this is more about having sex to get your bills paid (and this is not just a statement regarding prostitution–know that); having sex because it’s the by-product of your inebriated activities, which allow you to maintain certain connections; having sex because it affords you something that is essential to your existence.  However, just because you make these types of decisions, you don’t have to further destroy yourself by allowing these events to happen without protection.  If these events (only) happen when you’re drunk, consider staying sober at all costs, and see what decisions you make then–you could be very pleasantly surprised.

In conclusion, I personally, believe in abstinence and celibacy, but if you’re engaging in sexual exploits of ANY kind, it might behoove you and your partner(s) to make a date at your local clinic and get tested.  The five reasons above are stupid reasons to
contract this disease, and in the time it took you read this, approximately 50 more people in the US were just infected (per the 2006 statistics).

For more information or to speak with someone confidentially about HIV or other sexual health concerns contact one or all of the following agencies: AIDS Foundation Houston (www.aidshelp.org) at 713.623.6796  in or The Campaign to End AIDS (www.c2ea.org) at  877.363.2437 (END AIDS).  To find a testing facility in your area, visit the National HIV and STD Testing Resource site (www.hivtest.org) and enter your zip.  Don’t be afraid to find out your status-knowing is half the battle and the first step to waging war on this epidemic.  For those of you who are unaware, today is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day….and a great day to get tested.

And, in case you were wondering….HIV NEGATIVE–and yes, I have the proof!

So…Jimmy Put a Ring on it!

Three words… MOR. TI. FIED!

 Along with millions of viewers, I watched as Jim Jones proposed to longtime, live-in “wifey” Chrissy Lampkin on their popular VH1 Show, “Love and Hip Hop.”

The proposal caused emotional reactions throughout the Twitterverse, and just may have inspired millions of single women to take control of their situations, so that they too, could get a nice piece of ice on that special finger.

I saw the tweets and facebook statuses that were so happy for her.  Some people were actually crying.   There’s only one problem…

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